Dark Comedy, SF, Poetry, frank discussions about withdrawing from Religion, songwriting, and the ad biz. Expect surprises.

Writing Your Novel - Top 20 Pro Tips

May 20, 2018

Start with the car. Is it the Right car? Sedans are fine but Coupes have implications. Picture the car in your mind. What color is the car?
Deciding the gender and ethnicity of major characters should be left to the last possible moment.
Fake don’t tell. This is fiction, remember.
Never solicit plot approval from siblings. They still remember the bacon you wouldn’t share, even though they are successful landscapers.
If it helps, get the sex scenes over with. Women do. And you can always repurpose them.
Tell no one about the big alien surprise in the third act.
Hold off on the title. Titles give you the illusion that you know what you are writing about.
You don’t know what you’re writing about. If you did, you wouldn’t have to write your novel.
What if you decide to switch genres after the moose? Always follow the moose.
Agents are wonderful people before and after they are dead. But do not borrow money from them.
Does it have to be “Thelma”? Why not Wisconsin?
Remember: Not even Kelly Link knows what she’s doing, so why should you?
It’s bad luck to think about cats. Assume the cats are watching you.
I just saw the coolest commercial.
You know, I bet Christopher Nolan’s selfies look phenomenal.
Why did I give up writing sonnets?
I know I’m forgetting to do something. Laundry? Credit score? Coffee?
What kind of bird is that?
Is he still President?
One word at a time.

— Patrick O’Leary