ARKO'S TOP SECRET CHRISTMAS STORY
Creative Strategy #25: The world has enough soldiers
Long ago in a land that has more names than Che-che-che-zchia, I was a young man making my own way.
Arko took a job cutting wood at the foot of a snowy mountain.
And he fell hard for a Girl Nama Sandy.
She so beautiful she bewitched Arko.
Sandy say she came from the far north.
She took me up the mountain and over the ice to her home to visit.
And dis old man he said to Arko who are you?
And I said Sir? My name Arko and I am in love with your daughter.
He say I see that
He stroke his big white beard he says Sandy, my dear daughter, what have you done? You have bewitched him?
Sandy go Noooooooo!
And Arko go noooooooo!
And his wife says STOP. Clearly you have done something to this boy.
Don’t hate me Momma Claus.
I was so lonely sorry I couldn’t help myself.
I looked out into the night and I realize my toy wooden
boy was the only thing I had from my home.
I couldn’t help myself. I loved him so much he became real.
Arko do not hate me.
You are a toy my poppa made me. And I Missa home so much.
And that how I learned
That Arko Am not chechian!
Arko am Toy.
And I am North Polian?!?
That is why Arko stutter and cannot say che-che-che-
Because I was made at the North Pole.
She was the daughter of Santa Claus.
The old lady was her momma. Mrs Claus.
And I worked for the old man and his wife. They made toys.
All kinds of toys.
But they would not make soldiers.
My boss said, "There's enough of those."
And his wife said, "It's a long story."
So I never asked. But my beautiful wife told me one day.
She say Arko: you were the last wooden soldier.
I became a wood maker, a flute maker, a drum stick maker.
Number One snowball thrower.
Pat choo, pat choo, pat choo.
And they taught me magic, which is a WHOLE other story.
But I will tell you this:
Santa taught Arko one magic trick.
You wanna learn the magic trick?
You say ok.
Santa say you love somebody?
You say once a day like a veetimin
“No any pain?”
It means you ok? “No any pain?”
Arko say this. You love somebody?
You ask them once a day.
“No any pain?”
Say with Arko. No Any Pain?
Now Arko tell you a big secret if you’re very very smart you know the name of my pal. OK I say OK her first name is Sandy her second name is Rice.
But her third name is big big secret.
Don’t tell nobody, OK?
Arko say Molly Tush Nosh!
— Patrick O’Leary
